i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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