you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize