I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
