seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
