is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
