The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
