Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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