I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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