new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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