Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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