Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
