Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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