New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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