I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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