I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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