I heard we made out
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.