tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.