I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath