PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.