Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
  Replies (13) Good night (4140) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there

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  (310): once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there http://tfl.nu/icqv
  Replies (36) Good night (715) Bad night (9497) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4710) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?

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  (443): The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help? http://tfl.nu/pqdk
  Replies (7) Good night (674) Bad night (2423) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.

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  (661): I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day. http://tfl.nu/ltd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1927) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.

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  (251): He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested. (1-251): Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling. http://tfl.nu/pby0
  Replies (9) Good night (3046) Bad night (636)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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  (740): Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/wkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (1951) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.

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  (937): in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable. http://tfl.nu/kvvg
  Replies (14) Good night (1307) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2267) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.

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  (443): i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died. http://tfl.nu/tald
  Replies (6) Good night (403) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.

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  (412): I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause. http://tfl.nu/76t1
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

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  (571): In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades. http://tfl.nu/v1fc
  Replies (18) Good night (1010) Bad night (303)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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  (612): You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms. http://tfl.nu/grmf
  Replies (4) Good night (766) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.

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  (540): Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life. http://tfl.nu/lage
  Replies (5) Good night (184) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard

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  (973): Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard http://tfl.nu/5c0l
  Replies (18) Good night (235) Bad night (2112) Order T-Shirt

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