So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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