theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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