i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
handjob tips. give me some.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
