my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
