my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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