hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
