That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
