the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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