Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
