I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
being pregnant is like rehab
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
