i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
