Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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