Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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