I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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