Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
