With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
