You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize