Please, let me fuck your mom
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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