We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
