i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
