I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
