She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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