Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
