I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
