Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
