i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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