as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
