what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
