Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.