He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
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So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster