A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Small penises have feelings too.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.