i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
