when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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