I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize