she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
