did you get engaged???
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
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so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.