Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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  (248): I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis http://tfl.nu/utf8
  Replies (38) Good night (3383) Bad night (954)
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  (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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  (714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner. http://tfl.nu/5d6x
  Replies (42) Good night (1111) Bad night (14992)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

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  (609): I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined http://tfl.nu/fupt
  Replies (19) Good night (4953) Bad night (1376)
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  (949): View more from California

  I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.

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  (949): I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar. http://tfl.nu/limh
  Replies (8) Good night (4769) Bad night (870)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3144) Bad night (1064)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.

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  (706): I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery. http://tfl.nu/adx0
  Replies (7) Good night (1773) Bad night (671)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde

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  (401): Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde http://tfl.nu/uiul
  Replies (6) Good night (1428) Bad night (610)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.

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  (607): The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude. http://tfl.nu/ttzr
  Replies (8) Good night (1521) Bad night (781)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.

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  (610): I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/akfs
  Replies (6) Good night (888) Bad night (1726)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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  (303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu
  Replies (12) Good night (814) Bad night (1509)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.

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  (603): Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it. http://tfl.nu/oyn2
  Replies (1) Good night (831) Bad night (430)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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  (416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (457)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.

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  (865): This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned. http://tfl.nu/k9mr
  Replies (1) Good night (696) Bad night (379)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!

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  (312): I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit. (312): It's great being a young gay man in Chicago! http://tfl.nu/tlgx
  Replies (5) Good night (1065) Bad night (522)
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  (310): View more from California

  Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?

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  (310): Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year? http://tfl.nu/vjf5
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (443)

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