Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

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  (310): All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive http://tfl.nu/gj7g
  Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (507)
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  (310): View more from California

  she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.

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  (310): she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category. http://tfl.nu/bs6u
  Replies (55) Good night (801) Bad night (11483)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex

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  (303): marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex http://tfl.nu/fie1
  Replies (46) Good night (4481) Bad night (868)
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  (530): View more from California

  you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.

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  (530): you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts. http://tfl.nu/kee8
  Replies (27) Good night (5072) Bad night (2413)
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  (585): View more from New York

  she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

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  (585): she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year? http://tfl.nu/9o4d
  Replies (58) Good night (9933) Bad night (838)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.

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  (218): time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink. http://tfl.nu/47ui
  Replies (15) Good night (4140) Bad night (1174)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me

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  (703): yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me http://tfl.nu/feez
  Replies (14) Good night (986) Bad night (2149)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer

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  (205): Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer http://tfl.nu/3cgt
  Replies (6) Good night (1411) Bad night (692)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea

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  (907): Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed" (414): I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/3884
  Replies (19) Good night (1140) Bad night (2300)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.

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  (904): Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time. http://tfl.nu/ddkn
  Replies (4) Good night (2060) Bad night (501)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

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  (403): Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards. http://tfl.nu/sqj0
  Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (514)
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  (626): View more from California

  My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.

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  (626): My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza. http://tfl.nu/x0uu
  Replies (7) Good night (833) Bad night (467)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.

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  (419): She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared. http://tfl.nu/zba1
  Replies (9) Good night (2687) Bad night (658)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1159) Bad night (436)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

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  (702): Would I waste your time for mediocre porn? http://tfl.nu/88ga
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (263)

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