oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
