I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?