its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
this hospital has no fireball
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
