I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
