Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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