Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
