There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize