I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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