Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize