Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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